Mistakes most men make in the bedroom. Sex mistakes you're making. Sex mistakes that men make.
Alrighty, we hear you, an article entirely about the common mistakes guys make in the bedroom isn’t for you. You’re just reading it to, you know … “double check”. Sure. Nothing wrong with that.
Or maybe you’re having a quick skim for a mate. That’s weird.
Whatever your motivation, the question of mistakes men make during sex is one that most blokes’ egos will prevent them from ever asking, but an important one to consider. Have a quick glance at Google and you’ll find myriad articles on mistakes in bed and how to have better sex, written by women for women, but very little in the way of sound advice for us blokes. We’ve touched on this fact before, and as always seek to fill in the gaps of the internet by bringing you the best damn man-advice on every possible topic.
c: Ignoring the clitoris. Many men think a woman’s orgasmic ability is due to penetration. Yes, there is certainly pleasure in this part of the performance, but the bell of the ball is being left out of the party.
More than 70 percent of women experience clitoral orgasm when it comes to maximum reaction, so men need to make sure they are not ignoring the clitoris. It also helps if you actually know where the clitoris is located — some have been known to rub the urethral opening, which can be a big no-no for some ladies.
Sex Mistake : Sex Starts in the Bedroom
Men may turn on like a light, but for women, arousal doesn’t happen so fast, says sex therapist Ian Kerner, PhD. Pave the way during the day by hugging, kissing, and holding hands. Have some fun together, and show you appreciate her. Feeling safe and secure in the relationship is key for a woman to really let loose during sex, Kerner says. A long hug can go further than you’d think. “Hugging for 30 seconds stimulates oxytocin, the hormone in women that creates [a] sense of connection and trust.”
Sex Mistake : Assume You Know What She Wants
“Just as many women are faking orgasm today as 20 or 30 years ago,” Kerner says. So, if she’s not enjoying herself, you might not know it. Don't be afraid to ask questions like “How does this feel?” or “Do you want something different?”
Sex Mistake : Stick to Your Plan
Don't think that "if it worked the first three times, it will work the next three times," says sex therapist Sari Cooper, LCSW. What turns her on may depend on her mood, and where she is in her monthly cycle. “Perhaps her nipples are more sensitive or her genitals are less tingly,” Cooper adds. Pay attention to your partner, says psychologist Lonnie Barbach, PhD. “Try different things and see how she responds.” When you find something that works, linger on it. Women often complain that men move on to the next thing just as they really start to enjoy an activity.
Sex Mistake : Keep It Strictly Physical
Expand your idea of foreplay. Some men "focus on physical stimulation and often ignore mental stimulation,” Kerner says. While men get stirred up by what they see, “women fantasize a lot during sex as part of [the] process of arousal.” Join in -- share a fantasy or a sexy memory.
Sex Mistake : Not Finding The Clitoris is a Common Mistake
Etymologically speaking, “clitoris” derives from the Greek kleidí, which means “key”. There you go: it’s literally your key to a great romp, every time. With over 8,000 individual nerve endings in a skerrick of surface area (that’s twice as many as there are in a penis), it’s a sensitive cookie, and needs to be approached as such.
Sex Mistake :
Mistakenly Treating The G Spot Like A Second, Mystical Clitoris
The G-spot aka the Gräfenberg-spot was named after German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg, and scientifically speaking has never technically been proved to exist. Most women, however, would beg to differ, and finding it will open up a whole new dimension in the universe of female sexual stimulation.
Fingers are an important ingredient in the whole tongue / clitoris / G spot combo, and will help you locate the crucial area with ease, but that doesn’t mean you should use them like your junk.
Sex Mistake : Becoming too goal-oriented in your efforts. There is nothing more endearing than a man who wants to play. Just don’t get caught up in yourself. Your sexual exploration should be playtime for two.
Stay “present” in the moment – connecting with your partner will bring the ultimate climax to both of you. Click here to comment on this story.
Sex Mistake : Not knowing about her need to be naughty. Sometimes she needs to get in touch with her adulterated side. In fact, research has found that women are more aroused by explicit fantasies than romantic ones. Forget the prince on a white horse or canoodling on the beach.
Many women enjoy all sorts of erotica. Don’t be afraid to play up her far-from-virtuous visual nature.
